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GoD_139

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GoD_139

I wear a stethoscope so that in a medical emergency I can teach people a valuable lesson about assumptions.

GoD_139

Camping is intense.

GoD_139

Sgt.: Commissar! Commissar! The troops are revolting! Commissar: Well, you’re pretty repulsive yourself.

GoD_139

What did the beaver say to the tree? It's been nice gnawing you.

GoD_139

I ate a clock yesterday. It was so time consuming.

GoD_139

I was wondering why the frisbee was getting bigger, then it hit me.

GoD_139

What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches? A nervous wreck.

GoD_139

What’s the difference between an African elephant and an Indian elephant? About 5000 miles.

GoD_139

Did you hear about the bread factory burning down? They say the business is toast.

GoD_139

“My Dog has no nose.” “How does he smell?” “Awful”

GoD_139

What’s the advantage of living in Switzerland? Well, the flag is a big plus.

GoD_139

I gave all my dead batteries away today, free of charge.

GoD_139

Why don’t seagulls fly over the bay? Because then they’d be bay-gulls!

GoD_139

What do you get when you cross a bee and a sheep? A bah-humbug.

GoD_139

I decided to sell my Hoover… well it was just collecting dust.

GoD_139

I'm glad I know sign language, it's pretty handy.

GoD_139

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

GoD_139

I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already.

GoD_139

What do you call a group of killer whales playing instruments? An Orca-stra.

GoD_139

Why are fish easy to weigh? Because they have their own scales.

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