Why don't executioners ever high-five people?
They prefer to leave 'em hanging

Why did the man fall in the well?
Because he couldn't see that well

Patient: I get scared every time I think of big animals.
Therapist: We have pills for that, but bear in mind...
Patient: AAUUGGHH!!

As the child of a gay couple, I thought I was immune to Yo Mama jokes
Until someone said: Yo mama so ugly, your dad had to get a husband.

you know when your phone autocorrects fuck to duck you can still use it, it's fowl language.

Are you a sock?
Because i wanna c*m in you

Are you a sock? 
Cuz i think we'd make a good pair

Are you a toaster? 
Because I wanna take a bath with you