How many tickles does it take to make a squid laugh?

ten-tickles

I just shit my pants.
Can i get in yours?

Bill Gates farted in an Apple store.

He later commented, "Well it’s hardly my fault they don't have any Windows…”

How many tickles does it take for an octopus to laugh?

Tenticles.

Knock, Knock! 
Who's There? 
Dewey! 
Dewey who? 
Dewey have to use a condom? 
 

Whats the difference between you and an egg?

An egg gets laid.

Is that a mirror in your pocket?

Cause I can see myself in your pants!

Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing

What's brown and rhymes with snoop?

Dr. Dre

Name a spongebob quote to describe your sexuality.

Are ya ready kids!

What's orange and sounds like a parrot?

A carrot

Please pray for me, I will be going to the hospital tommorow.

I think i have a problem with my eyes, Every time I look into my wallet, I see nothing.

The hand is quicker than the eye.
Unfortunately, the CCTV camera at my nearest primary school's gates is
quicker than both.

I used to go fishing with Skrillex.

But he kept dropping the BASS.