Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing

How many tickles does it take to make a squid laugh?

ten-tickles

How many tickles does it take for an octopus to laugh?

Tenticles.

What's orange and sounds like a parrot?

A carrot

What's brown and rhymes with snoop?

Dr. Dre

Knock, Knock! 
Who's There? 
Dewey! 
Dewey who? 
Dewey have to use a condom? 
 

Whats the difference between you and an egg?

An egg gets laid.

Why are mountains so funny?

Because they are hill areas.

I just shit my pants.
Can i get in yours?

Everyone who hates speeding tickets, raise your right foot.

Is that a mirror in your pocket?

Cause I can see myself in your pants!

Name a spongebob quote to describe your sexuality.

Are ya ready kids!

Please pray for me, I will be going to the hospital tommorow.

I think i have a problem with my eyes, Every time I look into my wallet, I see nothing.