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Mark14

puns

What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back four seconds!

38

GoD_139

puns

It doesn't matter how much you push the envelope. It will still be stationary.

38

Deus

It's my fault that I have self blame issues.

44

Deus

puns

How do you learn to become a railroad conductor?

Training.

38

Deus

What time do cows go to sleep?

When it's pasture bedtime.

57

Deus

blonde

There is no "i" in "illiterate".

59

Deus

news & politics

2016 : trump wont win

2017: president trump can't do that, can he?

2018: you watching the hunger games tonight? I hope my district wins

40

PastaMan

puns

Doctor: Hello, did you come to see me with an eye problem?

Patient: Wow, yes, how can you tell?

Doctor: Because you came in through the window instead of the door.

39

Deus

What's the smallest drink you can order at a bar?

A mar tiny

55

TheOneWhoKnocks

knock knock jokes

Knock knock. 
Who’s there? 
Hatch. 
Hatch who? 
God bless you.

35

Mark14

puns

How do locomotives know where they're going? Lots of training

39

PastaMan

puns

A man got hit in the head with a can of Coke, but he was alright because it was a soft drink.

55

Kate

puns

Did you know the first French fries weren't actually cooked in France? They were cooked in Greece.

β€’

GoD_139

puns

Have you heard of the band 1023MB? They haven't got a gig yet.

32

Mark14

puns

Nurse: Doctor, there's a patient that says he's invisible. Doctor: Well, tell him I can't see him right now!

41

Deus

puns

What did the ocean say to the shore? Nothing, it just waved.

44

TheOneWhoKnocks

knock knock jokes

Knock Knock 
Who's there? 
Sucka. 
Sucka who? 
Sucka dick and let me in. 
 

37

Deus

puns

Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building? Of course. The Empire State Building can't jump.

46

Mark14

puns

Sometimes I tuck my knees into my chest and lean forward. That’s just how I roll.

50

Deus

puns

What do you call a pig with three eyes? Piiig

60

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20+ 'Knock Knock' Jokes for The Entire Family 50+ punny dad jokes that'll make any dad chuckle 10 Pick-up Lines That'll Leave Your Crush Speechless
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