I couldn't believe it when my wife said I doubt everything she says.

I've found out my Dad wanted me aborted.

My Mum thought it was a bad idea as I was just about to start secondary School.

My mom thinks I`m gay, can you help me prove her wrong?

Four fonts walk into a bar the barman says ''Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here''

Two wrongs don't make a right.
Three lefts do.

What did the carpenter say?

Believe in your shelf

A Japanese man walked into the currency exchange in New York City with 2000 yen and walked out with $72.

The following week, he walked in with another 2000 yen, and was handed $66.

He asked the teller why he got less money that week than the previous week.

The teller said, "Fluctuations." The Japanese man stormed out, and just before slamming the door, turned around and shouted, "Fluc you Amelicans, too!"

Are you a sock? 
Cuz i think we'd make a good pair