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DaBoiThicc

I knew i shouldn’t have ate that seafood. Because now i’m feeling a little… Eel

Deus

I'd like to start a diet, but I've got too much on my plate right now.

PastaMan

Thanks for explaining the word "many" to me. It means a lot.

Kate

Why are mummys scared of vacation? They're afraid to unwind.

Deus

Which city is the South African Superman from?

Cape Town

Deus

I made a breakthrough today.

So Ive stopped buying cheap toilet rolls.

Mark14

I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad, I take something for it.

Deus

I used to have a job at a calendar factory but I got the sack because I took a couple of days off.

GoD_139

In the news a courtroom artist was arrested today, I'm not surprised, he always seemed sketchy.

PastaMan

Why don't you find hippopotamuses hiding in trees? They're really good at it.

Deus

Why did the kid throw the clock out the window? He wanted to see time fly!

Deus

Why does Waldo only wear stripes? Because he doesn't want to be spotted.

Mark14

Past, present, and future walked into a bar.... It was tense.

Mark14

There is something wrong with my cell phone.
It doesn't have your number in it.

Deus

My email password has been hacked.

That’s the third time I’ve had to rename the cat.

Kate

What did the big flower say to the littler flower? Hi, bud!

PastaMan

You will never guess what Elsa did to the balloon. She let it go.

PastaMan

I knew a guy who collected candy canes, they were all in mint condition

Kate

Bad at golf? Join the club.

Mark14

How was the snow globe feeling after the storm? A little shaken.

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