Half a coconut hung from a tree makes a nutritious food for your garden
birds.
It also helps to keep other coconuts away from your house.

Why don't executioners ever high-five people?
They prefer to leave 'em hanging

Just found a video of my daughter on pornhub. 
To make matters worse it sounds like she also has coronovirus as apparently she is a super spreader.

My grandpa was in the army and he was attacked with both pepper spray and mustard gas. 

Now he's a seasoned veteran

Knock, knock. 
Who's there? 
Bed 
Bed who? 
Bed you can't guess who I am!

Do you know how much a polar bear weighs?
Enough to break the ice. 
 

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

you know when your phone autocorrects fuck to duck you can still use it, it's fowl language.

why did the cookie go to the nurse? Because he was feeling crummy.

How do you make a tissue dance?

You put a little boogie into it